Contender for the Worst Board Game (and how I ended up with it)

My family has a Christmas Eve tradition of gathering at my grandmother's house for a big spread of munchies -- cheese balls, cookies, oyster soup, etc. -- and an evening of board games. So I shouldn't have been surprised when I got to my grandmother's house this year and heard a chorus of voices: "What games did you bring?"

... At which point, I realized I'd brought nothing but food and presents. (Isn't that enough? I had tasty food and nice presents.) Mom said, "We thought about calling to remind you, but we knew for sure you'd remember to bring games."

They give my memory too much credit. They've never seen me go to the store for sour cream and come home with everything except sour cream. This happens. Often.

I love sour cream.

Anyway, I was feeling guilty, so I snuck out the door, telling Paul to cover for me as long as he could without the family getting suspicious. I drove to Wal-Mart, but it was closed. (I didn't even know that was possible!) So I doubled back to Walgreens, the only store with its lights on and parking lot full.

It looked like a war zone; people filled the aisles, half-heartedly grabbing at whatever giftable merchandise was left. "A five-piece tweezer travel set in an attractive carrying case? I'm sure little Tommy will love it! He didn't need those over-hyped Transformers anyway."

I squeezed onto the toy aisle (remaining merchandise: jigsaw puzzles and electronic Sudoku), and weighed my guilty conscience against the quality of the remaining games.

... which is how I ended up with The Singing Bee Board Game, based on the TV show hosted by Joey Fatone and FEATURING HIT SONGS FROM THE SHOW! AS SEEN ON NBC! YOU DON'T HAVE TO SING IT WELL, YOU JUST HAVE TO SING IT RIGHT! (For 2 or more players. Ages 10 and up. Copyright 2007. All rights reserved.)

This is by far the lousiest game I've ever played, even beating out my longtime Worst Game champion, the Deal or No Deal card game.

The Singing Bee game has major flaws (although it is slightly redeemed by Joey Fatone's smug expression on the cover). The lyrics are printed on cards and players are expected to sing the lines to other players, which assumes you have an encyclopedic knowledge of pop, R&B and country songs from the past 50 years AND that you can recall their tunes at a moment's notice.

Can you just off the top of your head sing these lines from "We've Only Just Begun": And when evening comes we smile/So much of life ahead? Because I can't.

Nor do I want to. There's no need to play crappy games if you can blog about how much you hate them. Like me. Here. Now.