Music holds the answers

Stolen from Smacky, who stole it from someone else...

[Open your favorite computerized music player, set it to shuffle, and then ask each of these questions.]

What do you think of me, iPod?
"I Wanna Be Sedated," The Ramones (How does one sedate an iPod?)

Will I have a happy life?
"We're Dancing With Wags the Dog," The Wiggles (Dancing, dogs, The Wiggles... I guess that constitutes a happy life, maybe...)

What do my friends really think of me?
"Dig My Grave," They Might Be Giants (It's all because I wouldn't buy Carrie a blanket, right?)

Do people secretly lust after me?
"TNT for the Brain," Enigma (Mindjob?)

How can I make myself happy?
"Little Plastic Castle," Ani DiFranco (So I should buy a goldfish?)

What should I do with my life?
"Never Let You Go," Third Eye Blind (Rut ro ... looks like Paul's stuck with a fish-owning mindjob dancing to The Wiggles.)

Why must life be so full of pain?
"Carbon Monoxide," Cake (Actually, I thought that was a pretty painless way to go...)

How can I maximize my pleasure during sex?
"Post Office, Nice Postmaster (Pelly)," Animal Crossing (At least it's not that crabby old hag Phyllis, amirite?)

Will I ever have children?
"Seven Years," Norah Jones (I'll be 32. Let me pencil in "Get Pregnant" on my 2012 calendar.)

Will I die happy?
"No Dope, No Drugs," Mr. T (I won't OD? Maybe I WILL go the carbon monoxide route!)

Can you give me some advice?
"Hold On," Good Charlotte (As in "Hold on, I'll get back to you on that?")

What do you think happiness is?
"Parallel Universe," Red Hot Chili Peppers (Max Tegmark, Scientific American, May 2003)

What's my favorite fetish?
"Little Abigail and the Beautiful Pony," Shel Silverstein (Ew... dirty dirty dirty.)

Yes, yes ... eclectic taste in music. Even got a CD by that Jewish reggae dude. Now it's your turn.