Mine Mine Mine Mine Mine!

Dear woman who hit on Paul while he was picking up dinner last night,

No, he does not want to hold you for a little while. He doesn't care that you're drunk. And he meant it when he said he doesn't like being touched, so quit pressing your ugly old woman body against him.

He didn't even know you were flirting until he called to tell me the "crazy thing that just happened." So if you're going to lay it on thick, find somebody who's not an aloof intellectual.

Paul doesn't care that your son's a missionary, doing God's work while mom gets smashed and hits on married guys half her age. Nor does Paul care that he's named after the most beloved of the apostles. (Actually, he's named after his dad.) Clarified for Smacky: (Actually, my Paul [not the apostle] is Paul Jr., named after my Paul's [not the apostle's] father, who is Paul Sr.)

Let me tell you something, bitch. You can be as spiritual as you like. But if you get drunk and hit on my husband, I'll give you a firsthand taste of fire and brimstone. I'm a real hellcat to those who mess with my family. I will get in your face, and I fight dirty.

Also, I'll post about you in my blog. So there.