... Thinking ...

Have you guys heard about the federal judge who barred Illinois schools from holding a daily moment of silence?

Hmm, that sounds too much like the setup to a bad joke with a really unfunny punchline. Let's try this again.

The Illinois General Assembly has a law that says all public school classrooms must observe a non-religious moment of silence at the start of the school day. A radio talk show host who’s an atheist and whose daughter goes to an Illinois public school filed suit to stop enforcement of the law on grounds that it explicitly -- and illegally -- suggests prayer. A federal judge ordered a preliminary injunction stopping enforcement in that family’s school district, then, receiving no objections from other school districts, extended the injunction to all schools in Illinois.

Well, that’s the 30-second version. The news itself is really just incidental to this post, so I'll quit talking about it and instead direct you to the full story at the Chicago Tribune.

I was half-listening to Headline News' recap about the ruling until one phrase caught my full attention: the anchor said the injunction will stop a moment of silence intended for prayer or contemplation.

Prayer or contemplation, huh?

Assuming you choose the latter option, how much contemplation can you do in a moment of silence? How long is a moment of silence? A minute? Thirty seconds?

I can’t decide what to eat for breakfast in that amount of time, much less wrap my brain around anything of value.

Then again, speed contemplation forces one's brain to work faster, putting total enlightenment within reach of the common man. Think on your feet! Be decisive!

It takes Zen masters years to determine the sound of one hand clapping. In one minute, I have determined it sounds like the idling engine of a Ford Fiesta stuck on the L.A. freeway in July.

What about the riddle of how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? In 30 seconds, I’ve concluded it’s 37, assuming it is a standard-size pin and that the angels are the actors from the 1996 film Space Jam.

Both the Tribune article and the law itself go beyond Headline News’ “prayer or contemplation” statement – but only slightly. The Tribune article phrases it as “a moment of silence suitable for prayer or contemplating the day's activities at the start of the day.”

Well, that makes more sense. Most people can figure out the day’s schedule in a matter of seconds. Most days, mine goes something like this: Work, lunch, work, dinner, mindless entertainment, bed.

That took me about 15 seconds, which leaves me 45 seconds to figure out the meaning of life.

Ready, set, contemplate.