Prep the patient, stat!

Paul signed up for a GameFly subscription last week, and the first game arrived last night -- Trauma Center: Second Opinion.

It's a medical simulation in which you play an initially whiny Dr. Derek Stiles as he performs all manner of operations without apparent specialization in any one medical field. I say "initially whiny" because I'm hoping he grows up some later in the game. He's pretty pouty and incompetent early on.

In the, oh, 30 minutes or so I managed to devote to the Wii last night, I completed oh-so-complex operations such as removing a hemorrhaging benign tumor from one patient's pancreas and taking broken glass out of another patient's arm. Right before I went to bed, I used a laser to burn off some polyps in a rock singer's throat.

It doesn't take a real-life doctor to see how the game strays pretty far from reality. No surgeon would be allowed out of the waiting room if he sewed up stitches like they do in the game. Then the sutures glow red and pulsate -- which should be a strong indication that, hey, something's not right in there -- but you've got this magical antibiotic gel that glows green and solves nearly all medical conditions, internal and external.

Is the game fun? Yes -- sort of. But it's fairly morbid, too. I mean, I just don't see myself rushing home from the office every night so I can drain tumors and cut them out of people's stomachs.