What's up, doc? No really -- what's up?
For the past few years, my family and Paul's family have used the same internist as our primary care doctor. Last week, mom-in-law called me: "Did you know he's leaving? In June? He's moving to Florida."
No, I hadn't heard, but I wasn't crying rivers. I haven't seen him since he referred me to my psychiatrist. And, anyway, I've been toying with the idea of going back to the doctor I had in high school. His new practice is 20 miles out of the way now, but he's worth it.
Still, I knew Mom and Dad would want to know the news. "Did you know he's leaving? In June? He's moving to Florida." Surprise, surprise. They hadn't heard either.And today, I got the official letter...
Dear Patient,Sounds pretty shady, doesn't it? I have a ton of resources at my disposal, and so far, I haven't seen anything unusual. No complaints with the medical board, no unresolved lawsuits. Crazy.
We are sending this letter to inform you that Dr. (his name) is no longer practicing medicine with our medical group. It is our understanding that Dr. (his name) does not intend to maintain an office in Tennessee. We do not have a telephone number or mailing address for his new office location.
By the way, the domain names have been renewed. The cost is $9.20, but don't stress over it. Pay me in tea or beads. And sorry for no post yesterday -- Blogger was borked. Bummer, too, because Paul's been working 24/7 (literally) since Sunday. He's sleeping in the office on his new $60 travel pillow.
But back to the task at hand ... should I worry about what happened to my doctor? The office has been tight-lipped (Mom called), which makes me even more suspicious. Whoever comments with the most creative conspiracy theory wins a unspecified object of absolutely no resale value.
posted by Kate at 10:00 PM
Copyright 2001-2009, L.K.C.S. It's MINE, all MINE. If you wanna use it, gimme credit and a link, okies? And don't run with scissors, because you're just going to poke somebody's eye out with that thing. No, really. 
3 Comments:
Um... He came out in really big way despite fact that he flirt with all nurses and receptionists in office but always back down or come up with really flimsy excuses whenever one of them took him up on it and offered to go out with him and all other doctors gave him hard time for "bad timing" and what not all while telling homophobic anti gay jokes which killed him inside little more each time it happened but he never let it show or let on that he was really gay because maybe when you think about it he just may have been hiding it from self as much as everyone else until recently one of his best friends from college came to visit and friend was so obviously flaming that everyone else in office just kept making fun of him after he left that good doctor just couldn't take it anymore and snapped telling everyone in office and waiting room that he was gayer than three dollar bill and he was here, queer and they had better get use to it because he was one that was touching them and probing them and whatnot with all that goes on in exams nowadays so naturally some of people got nervous but not as nervous as his coworkers who knew they could not fire him for being gay so they went about setting up things that made him look like he was slipping and becoming worker that medical group would not want to be part of them and when he realized that what they were doing to him was lot like movie "Philadelphia" without all aids and such he REALLY didn't want to go through all legal stuff because his malpractice insurance was high enough so in end he just resigned and am now going to open little office with his good friend in Key West!
He's obviously an alien. He's been gathering information on human physiology for the past 20 years, and his report is finally complete. In order to cover his tracks when he leaves the planet, he made sure to do something that would ensure no one would be sorry to see him go or attempt to find him: he molested a soccer mom while she was under anesthetic for a routine mole removal.
Now here's the really strange part: In order to make sure the woman knew she had been molested, he signed her left boob with a green sharpie, "You have nice boobs. Sincerely, Dr. Strange." How do we know this was premeditated? Two weeks before the molestation, an anonymous donor deposited a cashier's check made out to "cash" into the doctor's malpractice fund in the amount of $3 million. Coincidently, the exact amount the woman took to quietly settle out of court.
Now Dr. Strange is considered a pariah, and when he left town in the middle of the night, everyone breathed a secret sigh of relief.
Of course the real secret is what Dr. Strange plans to do with your medical information... Of that, I’m not allowed to say...
...but it has to do with boobies.
Maybe he's getting ready to take a trip to Tibet in the hopes that it will cure his drinking problem.
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