Happy Year 1, Me!

I made two mistakes today.

Statistically speaking, I am told that two mistakes are practically nothing when counted against the amount of material I read on a daily basis. But as an editor, I hold myself to an almost unattainable level of accuracy, and I kick my own butt when I don't achieve it.

The big boss e-mailed me earlier and said, "It happens, that's okay." I noted the incorrect comma usage but held my tongue.

Finally this afternoon, I crumpled in the managing editor's office. "I can't take it," I said of the mistakes. She already knew I'd spent much of today — which had been set aside for me to do SQL work — fixing this thing and helping that person.

"I feel like for every 20 things I catch, one slips by me ... and it's the one I should've caught," I continued. She nodded, then took the blame for the spelling mistake that had gotten under my skin. She created it; we both missed it. I don't get how she's not beating herself up. Bigger fish to fry, I suppose.

Ten minutes ago, she stopped by my office and said, "Look, Kate, don't be discouraged. I'd be much more concerned if we'd misquoted somebody or something. It's not like we libeled ourselves." I agreed and told her it made me feel better. And it does ... at least a bit.

I think the whole "being human" thing is always going to grate on my nerves. I seem to have missed the precept that mistakes are going to happen ... even if I'm there to catch them. Why does it bother me so much? No idea. Ask my parents; they say I've always been like this. And — as if to punctuate the obvious — I got an e-mail today from the editor of the magazine I proof: Happy 2nd anniversary proofing for us!!! Man, were we ever lucky when we snagged you!!! You're even more anal than *I* am, which is GREAT!! :-)

Blessing or curse? I don't know if I'll ever come to peace with that one.

Today is my one-year blogging anniversary (well, if you ignore the seven months I blogged in 2002). When I'm fighting my demons, writing helps me cope. And when my demons are at bay, writing brings me the routine and peace I desperately seek.

My blogging anniversary is as good a day as any to make a resolution. So, with two mistakes under my belt on Monday alone, it's high time I tell myself not to take it so personally. I won't let these little things be an affront to my editing skills or my self-confidence.

Well, it's easier said than done. But I'll try.